Sunday, 8 February 2015

Reader Response Draft 2

"The perils of over-sharing in social networks" by Emm (2014) seems to be rather against the increasing dependency that society has on the internet. In the article, Emm shares about his concerns over "government snooping" which allows for institutions and authorities to spy on our personal e-mails, text messages etc. Emm also goes on to talk about the impending dangers that an over reliance on social media platforms poses to people. For example, the jeopardization of our personal lives when confidential details land in the wrong hands. In addition to that, the author also believes that the over-sharing of private informations online can have adverse effects on the companies we work for. The author's opinions resonates with my own to a certain extent. I have personally witness friends getting cyber-bullied or falling victims to cyber-crimes. And as such i strongly believe that the internet is not an entirely safe place for sharing personal details. 

The author states that the Internet “exposes the minutiae of our daily lives”. Putting personal information online such as the posting of pictures, sharing of details about our daily routine or tweeting about our current location makes us vulnerable and easy targets to cyber-criminals. While reading the article, I was reminded of an incident that rendered a close friend of mine a “cyber-crime victim”. This particular friend was attacked on a popular social media platform known as “AskFm” where strangers are allowed to comment or ask you questions. She started receiving provocative and rude comments from anonymous characters, some even claiming that they know private details of her life such as her home address. It was both a shocking and frightening experience for her and she eventually shut the account down. Just as Emm puts it, what is seemingly harmless can quickly turned into an avenue for crimes to take place

While the author believes over-sharing on the Internet can threaten the personal lives of users, it can also “jeopardize the security of the organization we work for”. Sharing of confidential details online can result in rival companies attaining vital information required to sabotage or attack the organization. In addition to Emms point, the over-sharing of information on the Internet not only compromises the security of a company but also it’s reputation. In 2012, director Amy Cheong of the National Trade union congress (NTUC) was fired after posting racist comments about the traditional Malay wedding on her personal Facebook account. (Durai, 2012)The incident caused an outrage amongst the online community as people were upset and disappointed that NTUC would give such authority and responsibility to someone who publicly displays ignorance and racism. NTUC’s Facebook page was bombarded with angry comments demanding for explanations. Needless to say, the incident tarnished NTUC’s reputation as being a wholesome organization. As such it is clear to say that over-sharing on the Internet can affect both the security and reputation of the companies we work for.


In the article, Emm also voices his worries over “government snooping” on the Internet. The ability of institutions and the government to “intercept emails, text messages etc.” leaves users with barely any privacy to call their own. However "government snooping" does have some positive impact on society in that it combats terrorism to a certain extent. The National Security Agency (NSA) gathers phone data and online communications in order to sieve out potential threats. In the US alone, The National Security Agency's "controversial intelligence-gathering programs" have helped to prevent 13 terrorist attacks from taking place. (Kelly, 2013). I personally believe that the government need not resort to "snooping" to retrieve private details of our lives such as our home addresses or even our bank account. And even if they do not, they have other means of retrieving them. The only reason why anyone should be afraid of "government snooping" would be their fear of getting exposed for crimes such as company embezzlement etc. in which case they should in fact be exposed. As such government snooping does have its upside as well




Bibliography

Durai, J. (2012, Octrober 8). The Straits Times. Retrieved 2014, from www.straitstimes.com: http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/ntuc-assistant-director-sacked-racist-remarks-20121008


Kelly, H. (2013, August). CNN. Retrieved from www.edition.nn.com: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/07/31/tech/web/nsa-alexander-black-hat/






5 comments:

  1. Hello, here are some points which we think you can improve on:

    - your example of Amy Cheong does not show how it jeopardizes the security of the company.

    - maybe you can find some evidence to substantiate your points e.g. your point on cyber-bullying

    - proofreading it can help reduce some grammar errors like verb tenses, capitalization.

    - your third last sentence is unclear, could be better phrased.

    Bert, Wei Ting and Sue Anne

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi thanks for your comment :) the example of Amy Cheong however was not to show how the internet jeopardizes the security of the company but the reputation! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Joycelyn!

    We think that you reader response was well written and supported. It relates to the article and we are able to understand the points you are trying to convey to us. The whole response also reflected your views on the the perils of over-sharing in social networks.

    However, we feel that you need to have a few sentences to conclude your points at the end of your write-up.The last paragraph only shows argument 3 of your reader response, and we think that it is necessary to end the write-up with your overall view to avoid an abrupt end to your response.

    In addition, you have minor problems with punctuation and capitalisation.

    Eg. 1. And as such i strongly believe that the internet is not an entirely safe place for sharing personal details.

    Eg. 2. In addition to Emms point, the over-sharing of information on the Internet not only compromises the security of a company but also it’s reputation.

    Eg. 3. However as much as I dissent and disagree with their actions, i have to admit that "government snooping" gives a sense of security in that it combats terrorism to a certain extent.


    Also, there are a few grammatical errors.

    Eg. 1. Emm also goes on to talk about the impending dangers that an over reliance on social media platforms poses to people.

    It would be better if you change it to: Emm also goes on to talk about the impending dangers that an over reliance on social media platforms will pose to people.

    Eg. 2. Putting personal information online such as the posting of pictures, sharing of details about our daily routine or tweeting about our current location makes us vulnerable and easy targets to cyber-criminals.

    It should be changed to: Putting personal information online such as the posting of pictures, sharing of details about our daily routine or tweeting about our current location make us vulnerable and easy targets to cyber-criminals.

    Eg. 3. NTUC’s Facebook page was bombarded with angry comments demanding for explanations.

    It should be changed to: NTUC’s Facebook page was bombarded with angry comments demanding explanations.

    Overall, well-done! (:

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you, Joycelen, for this well focused reader response. Generally, you do a decent job summarizing the article then commenting on a particular aspect. Along with refining your thesis, you do need to take note of other issues:

    --- seems to be rather against >>> Isn't this a weak assertion?

    --- to talk about > discuss

    --- For example, the jeopardization of our personal lives when confidential details land in the wrong hands. >>> (fragment) Why?

    --- informations > non-count noun

    --- ...we work for. >>> Is this DIRECT QUOTE? If it is, you must use quotations marks. If not, express without "we" >>> ...that users work for. Remember, I suggested that you not use "we." Do you know why?

    --- opinions resonates >>> ?

    --- I have personally witness… > WITNESSED (remember, after have/has you need the past participle)

    --- And as such i strongly believe that the internet is not an entirely safe place for sharing personal details. >>>
    Isn't this the same opinion as the author? If it is, shouldn't you allude to that?

    --- they know private details … >>> present tense?

    --- Your reference list is not done in APA style.

    I look forward to the next draft.

    ReplyDelete